Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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