I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize