Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
