how can u be prego again
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
