i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
