Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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