3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
