Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Boobs speak an international language.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
