i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
soo... how was my night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
