he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize