So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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