First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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