Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
