You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize