do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i drank out of a bidet.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
