i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
