Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
