I got chris browned last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
