Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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