well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
