She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I party with great urgency now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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