just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
