maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
