plz talk dirty to me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize