Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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