I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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