She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This beer is not sobering me up at all
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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