This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
