I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
