We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How external is "for external use only"?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
