If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
