I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I would fuck him just for his dog
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
