I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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