We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
