Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
