dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
