I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
