Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
