Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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