i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
