When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
