Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
