Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
When are your genitals available?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
