I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
