what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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