That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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