I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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