i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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