i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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