there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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