is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
