She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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