I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
