we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
