you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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