Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
