At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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