I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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