Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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