This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize