Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't turn off my feet"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
