Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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