Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize