about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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