Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
