I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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