I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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