You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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